It happened again. It’s not surprising, really. I’ve come to expect it.

Ding dong! “TranzMetro regret to advise that due to an operational incident the Main Trunk is closed.”

I wonder, with my friend, how many people standing on the station actually know the Main Trunk is also known (exclusively, in TranzMetro publications) as the Kapiti line.

I suggest to my friend that we head for platform 9 where buses are (all too often) to be found on such occasions.

Ding dong! “TranzMetro regret to advise that due to an operational incident the Main Trunk has been closed for approximately 30 minutes.”

Oh, I think, not so bad. Only half an hour to wait. Not such a big deal. I’ve endured worse with no information.

Our train, normally a 17:45 service, arrives on platform 5, where we are standing, at about 17:40. We decide to board.

Some time passes.

Ding dong! “The next train to Waikanae will leave at six oh three from platform 8.”

Hmmmm. “Train to Waikanae” is on the Kapiti line, but at this time of day most likely an express. No good for us. We’ll stay where we are.

Ding dong! “The service on platform 5 is not the Porirua service…” Damn! “… it is the five thirty five service to Taita.”

We disembark.

Ding dong! “The service on platform 8 will be stopping all stations to Waikanae.”

Bastards!

We head for platform 8 but eventually realise that ‘standing room only’ is already full!

Ding dong! “There has been a change of platform for the Taita service. It is now on platform 4, not platform 5.”

Idiots!

Ding dong! “The next service to Porirua will be departing from platform 5.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

We reboard the same train we started with.

Outrageous? Yes. Typical? Yes. Frequent? Yes.

FML