I bet you think I am going to talk about how dangerous it is to use a mobile phone while driving.  Well, I’m not.

That was just to pull you in with a false sense of security, for what I am about to say is possibly insulting to you.  Depending on who you are.

There has been much coverage of a survey conducted in the US & UK (indeed, I even broached the subject on last week’s SittingDuck Podcast).  The survey results are suggesting, or rather the results are being suggested to suggest (as it were), that mobile phones are too difficult to use for more than basic calls and text messaging and therefore most people only ever do those basic things.  Apparently, lots of people would use all those ‘other features’ if only it were easier.  ‘Easier’ seems to be defined as the whole phone being set up in under 15 minutes.  An hour, it says, is clearly too long.

So I got to thinking, what is required to operate a new mobile phone successfully?

Well, two things.  Some knowledge, and an approach.

The knowledge is quite important.  You need to know what sort of things setting up an internet connection entails and where to get that information.  Same for email.  So how do you get that knowledge?  Well, if you have a computer at home, you’ve already got it.  I’m not sure of numbers but I would wager the majority of these people have a computer at home with basic internet access (including email) available than than don’t.  So, that can’t be the probem.

The approach is the problem.  The article linked above said most users wanted stuff to work within 15 minutes.  FIFTEEN MINUTES!

Let’s say you want to learn how to drive a car.  How long would you spend learning how the ignition, handbrake, steering, accelerator, foot brake, clutch, gear lever, lights and wipers work?  15 minutes?  Of course not.  You’d spend at least a couple of hours, right?

But wait, that’s not a fair comparison.  Driving is dangerous if you get it wrong.  So let’s come up with a better analogy. How long would you expect it to take to set up your new surround sound audio system?  That’s not dangerous.  Let’s see what’s required.

Well, there seem to be 5 things that look like speakers, but some are different shapes than others.  There’s a big box that looks like it does nothing and another with knobs on it that has lots and lots of sockets on the back.  Then there are numerous cables.  You’ve never even set up a stereo system before, so this is going to be tricky.

Bah! You’ve been at it 15 minutes already and you still can’t hear any sound.  After an hour you get some sounds coming out of those speakers, but no matter where you sit in the room, it doesn’t sound very flash.  What a waste of time.  May as well, just turn the radio on and be done with it.

But wait!  “Read the manual” I hear you say.  Why yes, of course!  The manual tells you exactly where all those cables plug in and what they do and what might go on the other end.  It’ll also tell you about speaker positioning and how to optimise the sound for your room, including traversing various electronic menus on the device or an attached television.

Right, stuff the schmancy analogies.  To the point…

Your mobile phone comes with a handbook.  If you don’t have it, use that working internet connection at home to find it online (Google it!)

NOW READ IT AND UNDERSTAND IT.  THIS TASK WILL TAKE MORE THAN 15 MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE BUT WILL PAY DIVIDENDS.

Message ends.  Blood pressure returning to normal.

Wonders to himself, “Where is the instruction manual for getting out of bed in the morning.  It seems to take me more than 15 minutes every day”